And the Squash Wore White

by Daisy

I told myself I wasn’t going to grow squash this year.  I have chronicled my squash woes in previous posts, including here, wherein I sustained a SBRI.

Every time I try to grow squash I end up sacrificing a gargantuan amount of my limited garden space only to end up with a lot of rotten squash, yellowing plants, and basically a squash bug/beetle/borer smorgasbord.  I might as well put a ‘kick me’ sign on my back.

But of course I’ve done it again.  And to add to what is certain to be my ultimate humiliation, I’ve erected a monstrosity of bamboo and tulle over my squash bed in a vain attempt to keep the bugs out.  It resembles a miniature wedding tent, post-tornadic event, and I’m sure the squash pests are having a big belly-laugh over it.  Goodness knows what the neighbors are thinking:

(shakes head)  “What is that thing?”

(scratches chin) “Switched if I know.  Some sort of play tent for her eighteen children?”

(purses lips)  “Naw, can’t be.  It’s too low to the ground.”

(walks away in dismay)  “Well, whatever it is, it sure is ugly, bless her heart.”

They are NOT getting any squash.

Hand pollination tutorial here.

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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

Mrs. Mac May 26, 2010 at 7:28 am

I was thinking of doing something similar with my cabbage plants. The tulle looks like it might. I was thinking of finding a few old sheer curtains at the thrift store.

Tanya Walton May 26, 2010 at 8:03 am

well I think it’s a mighty fine construction…you should see what I have done to my peas…lol….I haven’t ever grown squash and although I intended to this year never got any sown…maybe next year…..oh and Mrs Mac…thrift stores are great places to visit to make weird monstrosities for the garden!!

Kat May 26, 2010 at 10:02 am

Yesterday evening I let my poor hens out to do a bit of free-ranging. They dug up the entire squash bed. I rebuilt the mounds and stuck the little green tops of the plants (little or no roots left on any) back into the dirt and watered the heck out of it. It started to rain in the afternoon, and rain’s been pouring down ever since. Maybe my husband will think the rain killed the plants and deformed the mounds?

Don’t ask, don’t tell; don’t ask, don’t tell; don’t ask, don’t tell…..

Dolly May 26, 2010 at 10:29 am

Squash, I got no problem. Tomatoes, for me? Epic Fail. Trade ya.

AuntiePatricia May 26, 2010 at 6:51 pm

ivory, have you ever used diatomaceous earth?

susannah May 26, 2010 at 7:00 pm

a local organic farmer recommended bacillus thuringiensis. i was able to find it at the local southern states sold as thuricide. it’s a spore that attacks the larva so it’s totally organic. so far the squash and tomatoes are blooming and the cabbage is starting to form heads. yippee!

Tomato Lady May 26, 2010 at 8:42 pm

AuntiePatricia–I have tried it some. Then it rains or some such, and somehow the bugs always win. They are tenacious!

deena May 26, 2010 at 8:59 pm

“miniature wedding tent, post-tornadic event” HA! Good one!

Lindsay May 26, 2010 at 9:36 pm

Love it. I was planning on trying an arched version with my berries that will someday get planted. The only thing I’ve heard is diotomaceous earth and neem oil. But you have to get it on the underside of the leaves (which also helps to protect them when it rains since it won’t *all* wash off). I’ve got my eye on a neat little blower thing-y that blows the stuff up under the leaves. I think all you really need to quiet the neighbors (at least out of hearing range) is some twinkle lights around the frames.

Handful May 27, 2010 at 12:03 pm

Oh TL – you are a HOOT! I agree with Lindsay – some twinkle lights would be a lovely touch! And at least the neighbors added “bless her heart…” I know that makes it alright.

We are just finally in the “back 40” garden. It had been raining cats, dogs and elephants but I have now called off the ark building. We were planting yesterday afternoon after discing the corn stubble. My SO’s cousin stopped by to help and promptly tilled up my row of Hungarian hot wax peppers. That is AFTER the SECOND planting of indoor seedlings. My first batch I had nursed along for months didn’t survive the miricle gro holocaust. One tomato seedling survived – it will probably outlive me.

andrea May 28, 2010 at 4:18 pm

Hysterical and brilliant. And hopefully effective.

Ambi December 22, 2010 at 7:09 pm

We rarely have a problem with our squash, not sure if its cause we live in England now, but every year we plant marigolds around our main vegetable patch (which holds a few different things) and we always get success. Don’t know if it scientifically helps and repels squash bugs but so far so good on our side! (Or maybe its cause it rains so much that the little bugs don’t have a chance!)

Belinda January 24, 2014 at 11:07 pm

Love your posts! …”Bless her heart”….as a fellow southerner I understand, lol.

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