FLOP: Homemade Bake Mix and Whop Biscuits

by Ivory Soap on 06/14/2012

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The picture says it all.   It was ALL BAD, y’all.

I think my first mistake was the WHITE WHOLE WHEAT.

I had the same problem with the homemade pizza crust (the yeasty version, not the bake mix-biscuity version that never fools anyone.)  My husband is an old pizza driver.  We aren’t afraid AT ALL of freezer pizzas.  Nothing whole wheat tastes the same.  I know, I know, it’s CRACK.  It’s like saying nothing tastes the same as strychnine, but when we’re trying to get cheerful eaters to swallow their hidden meat, under the cheese, refined flour is where it’s at.  Dang it.  I even sifted it to get the best gluten-y parts.  No go.

Only the baby ate it.  But she eats stuff she finds in the dustpan.  Poo.

Deanna

P.S. My husband did the picture for me.  HA!



{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

Beth Wall June 14, 2012 at 5:58 am

too funny!!!

Caron June 14, 2012 at 8:40 am

Love your blog and book!!!! They are both so great! Try using spelt flour instead of the wheat. It is good for you…and it works up alot like white!

Sarah June 14, 2012 at 8:51 am

I gave up on white whole wheat flour. Every loaf of bread I tried to bake could have been used as a door stop. I beat a loaf on the counter just to prove it wouldn’t fall apart! Sad day, but your picture is hilarious.

Amanda June 14, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Solution? Go to Walmart. In the deli with the weird packaged sandwiches that are there for who knows how long, there are Pizza Buddies, white and wheat. They are a woman’s best friend. Fresh yeasty pizza dough you can take home and freeze or prepare in minutes, and its $.89 and $.99 each, depending on variety. Secondly, check out Smitten Kitchen and find the Light Wheat Bread recipe. It never fails and tastes great!

Nancy June 14, 2012 at 6:53 pm

I use half white and half whole wheat which lightens it up a bit.

Portia McCracken June 15, 2012 at 5:44 am

Deanna, flop or no, you must have the most lively household since Lucy &Desi! Thank you so much for letting us be flies on our wall. When’s the next book? I vote for a memoir, even though you’re way too young. Maybe along the lines of your Little House namesake. Or a lovely old English book I discovered (via PBS), ‘Lark Rise to Candleford.’

Sondra June 15, 2012 at 8:23 am

Too funny!!

“Only the baby ate it. But she eats stuff she finds in the dustpan. Poo.”
My daughter was the same way…she’d eat anything that would fit in her mouth!!

Ann June 15, 2012 at 10:37 am

I think the white whole wheat flour is really too heavy to use as the only flour in yeasted breads. Unfortunately, I have 15 lbs. of it to use up. I made hamburger buns yesterday and used 1.5 c. ww white flour and 7 c. all purpose. They were very nice–ww taste without ww heaviness. I’m using it up little by little, adding no more than 25% white ww flour mixed with AP flour in all my yeasted baked goods, including pizza dough. I like the flavor and body it brings to pizza dough; better than all AP flour I think. My kids agree.

April @ A Simple Life June 15, 2012 at 11:55 am

You just have to find recipes that are for whole wheat.

We made the commitment to using whole wheat a couple of years ago. We started by using half and half (half white and half wheat) and now we grind our winter red or summer white wheat and sometimes mix it with other grains.

Our family now prefers it, but it took time.

Adica June 15, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Whenever making white whole wheat something-or-other, I only use about half white whole wheat mixed with all-purpose (or bread flour, if I’m making yeast bread), and I sift (if I have time). For yeast breads I also add some gluten (according to the directions on the box), and for quick breads/biscuits, I always add extra baking powder/soda (1/4-1/2 tsp. extra? I don’t think I’ve ever actually measured…). I also add up to an extra tablespoon or so of liquid, too. I find that recipes that use an acid, like buttermilk, come out better.

For drop biscuits (I fail at the rolled ones), I use this recipe: http://simplycooking.wordpress.com/2007/12/07/best-drop-buttermilk-biscuits/ As an added bonus, you don’t have to cut in the butter.

For great pizza dough, I use this recipe and use the “sponge” method: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/premium-pizza-crust/detail.aspx It’s very good and everything a pizza crust should be.

Teresa June 15, 2012 at 7:18 pm

I found that for pizza and biscuits fresh ground wheat is heavier, but if you mix it with white it helps…..at least its a little better. Also, add a pinch of ground up vit c, and ginger you can also use vital wheat gluten and licithin (but its a soy product) that helps with all ww products.

Linda Volk June 17, 2012 at 8:42 am

How is the broody hen doing?

Marla B. June 17, 2012 at 8:06 pm

I tried the whole wheat & even half whole wheat/white & it still was horrible. I tried recipes that spoke so highly of it, but it is at least 75% white flour for me. My husband eats wheat bread, but I find it bitter…I would rather not have any at all. I want to enjoy my calories cause if I do not, I will search for them later.

Julia June 18, 2012 at 6:09 am

I recommend trying King Arthur flour’s whole wheat bread recipe, the Classic Whole Wheat Bread. It’s great. Also use their flour. I bought a cheaper brand of white whole wheat flour and it wasn’t nearly as finely ground. I do bake all my bread and everyone in my family enjoys their recipe (and I have 3 picky kids!).

Stephanie June 18, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Try white whole wheat pastry flour. Add 1 T per cup extra. Good Luck,

Amanda August 5, 2012 at 10:06 pm

I’ve also used the King Arthur’s brand with good results. To make things lighter I also replace two tablespoons per cup of whole wheat white flour with corn starch. Another very important thing to know is that anytime you use baking powder you need to make sure it is aluminum free. For some reason when it’s whole wheat an aluminum kind gives it a very OFF taste.

Hope this helps,

Amanda

Ivory Soap August 11, 2012 at 10:45 am

Maybe THAT’s it. I don’t know what kind I used. That and Daisy said it was likely rancid. Not a lot of call for white wheat round our parts.

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