In discussions of what sets fresh eggs apart from their factory counterparts, you’ll likely hear the word “bloom.”
What exactly is “bloom” and what is it for?
In short, it’s a coating, courtesy of the hen herself, deposited on the outer surface of the shell, which helps protect the contents of the egg from contamination.
Another name for it is “cuticle.” It is a protein, a mucous secretion of the hen’s cackleberry chute, to get scientific.
It’s necessary because eggshell is permeable, with about 80,000 microscopic pores on the surface of one egg. Bloom blocks bacteria, etc., from entering the egg and keeps the egg fresh longer.
Factory eggs, among their other issues, have been washed to make them palatable for the public and this removes the bloom. A coating of mineral oil is substituted to prolong their shelf-life. Like most man-made interferences, it is unequal to nature’s own.
Now our own homegrown hens’ eggs get dirty sometimes and need to be washed, which leaves us with a sort of Catch-22: leave the bloom and the surface contaminants can’t penetrate the egg, but they are still there on the outside, looking gross, getting into the egg when you crack it open, getting on your hands when you handle it, and looking really not cool at all sitting on your counter or in the fridge. Heaven forbid one should present a poopy egg to a friend, family member, or customer.
But, see, the bloom is there, protecting the egg inside . . . You explain and point and nod authoritatively but no, the horror is still frozen on their faces. And understandably so.
What to do?
The general consensus is that washing dirty eggs is indeed fine. Best to do it soon before using the eggs to take advantage of the natural protection of bloom for as long as you can, but a washed egg is a lovely egg as well, and much more presentable to the general population.
Use water that is 20 degrees F. warmer than the temperature of the egg itself. This will prevent thermal cracks from developing in the shell which would shorten the fresh life of the egg. A vinegar solution or a mild soap followed by a dry towel is fine. You’re really not trying to get an absolutely aseptic shell, just remove the exterior contaminants that gross people out and might fly into your food when you crack the egg.
Speaking of cracking, chefs and foodies recommend cracking eggs on a flat (or nearly flat) surface for the best, most shell-free result.
Prevention is even better. Collect eggs soon after they are laid if possible. Maintain clean bedding and make it nice and deep. Straw is one good one. Keep roosting areas up and away from the nesting sites.
And remember, if in doubt, place a suspect egg in a glass of water. If it floats, it’s past its prime. If it sinks, it’s likely a good’n.
4. Borrow MIL’s boss’s brother’s manual transmission, diesel, 16-ft flatbed with a lift and drive 20 mph to the Tractor Supply, never killing the engine (Thank you, Jesus) yet lightly grinding the gears twice. (I would love to show you a picture of the truck, but the tank lot was closed. Below is MIL’s boss’s brother’s company.)
5. Arrive at Tractor Supply and realize that you can’t possibly park this monstrosity, so you take up six parking spaces so you don’t have to turn.
6. Find it impossible to remove the key. Struggle for a few minutes, then flag down a couple of good-ole-boys in the parking lot that look like they would know how to de-key a diesel truck the size of my house. Key successfully removed. Lessons given on key removal.
7. Enter Tractor Supply and ask for goat panel.
8. Laugh out loud when they show it to you, cause a lame goat on Bud Light could jump it backwards. Four feet? My MINI goats can jump that in a second. Must be meant to be electrified. Can’t do that.
9. Buy two 16ft long 5 ft high HORSE PANELS.
10. Bring mammoth truck around to the back of Tractor Supply. Again, cannot remove key and must get elderly salesman to give lessons.
11. Help elderly salesman get panels over the lift that neither of us know how to use, into the bed of the truck and drive home at 20 mph. (Never been in a car that needed 4th gear before 30 mph.)
12. Have mild nervous breakdown trying to turn left out of the lot, calling on all the saints that can be remembered whilst adrenaline is pumping. Therese, Teresa, Lewis, John of the Cross, Philomena, Sacred Heart of Jesus, Mama Mary, Elizabeth, any relatives that can hear me, people who are holy that I don’t even know…all y’all pray I get back without wrecking, PLEASE!
12. Drop panels at the house and take mammoth truck back to tank lot. Thank whole host of heaven for their much appreciated assistance.
13. Again, cannot remove key. Struggle for a few minutes. Pray some more. Finally get key out.
14. Return key to MIL’s boss’s brother who can’t believe I didn’t call stranded on the side of the road. The phrase “super woman” was used.
15. Go home and bang in U posts in a relatively straight line, attach panel with zip ties and install an adjust-a-gate from Depot.
Housing baby chicks can be stressful and expensive. So, TL and I use abandoned dog cages. While the weather is cold, said cages are kept in the garage under a lamp (read: lamp with very energy inefficient bulb of any kind.)
When the weather is warm, I recommend Ivory’s Baby Chicken Tractor!
1. Turn dog cage upside down. (Important!)
2. Remove tray.
3. Fill with straw and flat bottom buckets for feed and water.
4. Place tray on top for shade and protection. A brick is helpful to keep it in place.
5. Drag around yard at will, being careful to not trap chicken toes. (Hint: lift one end)
Why upside down you say? The bottom of a kennel has BIG holes. The top has little holes. Inversion is important for two reasons: a) Baby chicks can escape through bottom edges if it’s right side up. b) Big person arms fit in easily through the bottom (now top) to allow for easy food/water maintenance and retrieval/return of individual chicks without having to open the cage door. Blasted escape artists!
In discussions of what sets fresh eggs apart from their factory counterparts, you’ll likely hear the word “bloom.”
