Crocheted Washcloth: Diamonds

by Daisy

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Diamonds Washcloth Pattern

size H needle
worsted weight cotton

Ch 26

Row 1: Sc in second ch from hook and in each ch across

Row 2 & 3: Ch1, turn, sc in each sc across

To work FPtr: Yarn over hook twice, insert hook from front to back to front around the post of the stitch to be worked, yarn over hook, pull a loop through around the post, then, to complete as a treble stitch: (yarn over hook, draw yarn through two loops on hook) three times.

Row 4: Ch1 turn, sc in first 2 sc, work FPtr around first sc on third row below, skip four sc on third row below, work FPtr around next sc on third row below, * skip next 2 sc from last sc made, sc in next 4 sc, work FPtr around next sc on third row below, skip next 4 sc on third row below,
work FPtr around next sc on third row below; Repeat twice from *; skip next 2 sc from last single crochet made, sc in last 3 sc.

Row 5-7: ch1 turn, sc in each sc across

Row 8: Ch 1, turn, work FPtr around third sc on the third row below, skip first sc, sc in next 4 sc, **work FPtr around next sc on third row below, skip next 4 sc on third row below, work FPtr around next sc on third row below, skip next 2 sc from last sc made, sc in next 4 sc; repeat from ** across to last 2 sc, work FPtr around next sc on third row below, skip next sc from last sc made, sc in last sc.

Row 9-11: ch1 turn, sc in each sc across

Rows 12-27: Repeat rows 4-11, two times.

Row 28: repeat row 4; do not fasten off

Border: Double crochet around and fasten off.

So, are you’re eyes bleeding? Mine did. So, here’s the Ivory Vernacular to clarify:

Diamonds Washcloth Pattern in English-ish

Chain 26.
Stab 2nd chain from hook.
Make 3 full rows of singles with ch1’s between rows

Row 4(Teepees): chain one and turn

  • Single crochet in first two stitches and stick your finger on that second one. Verbally abuse it a bit so you won’t forget it. Say, “You’re a naughty-naughty stitch! If you had eyes, I’d poke em!”
  • Work a treble crochet, but instead of stabbing the single crochet next door, go for the first one on that bottom row of singles. Go in to the right of him and come back out to the left of him. Finish your treble.
  • Do another, but wrap around the 5th single crochet on that bottom row. Look, a teepee, four stitches between it’s feet.
  • *Remember the stitch that you sassed BEFORE you started making a teepee? Skip two stitches away him (i.e. the two stitches behind Mr. Teepee Point) and make a single crochets in the next 4.
  • NOW, you hate that last one of the four. “Look at you, standing there in front of your three friends, acting like you’re somebody! Your just the same as all the rest, ‘sept I hate you!”
  • Make another teepee, wrapping stitches 6 and 11 on that bottom row, or the one next to the last teepee leg and five over from him. Whatever makes sense to you. Two legs, four stitches in between.
  • Repeat twice from *. You should have four teepees and five stitches left over.
  • Skip two from The Most Recently Sassed and put singles in the last three stitches.

Rows 5-7: 3 rows of singles like beginning.

Row 8(the V’s): chain one and turn

  • Don’t put anything in that first stitch cause you HATE him, instead treble and wrap stitch 3, three rows down.
  • Put singles in the four stitches up there next to the hated empty space.
  • Wipe your brain clean and make 3 teepees. Two stitches will be left over. Glare at the second one. “You’re dead last, cause you deserve it!”
  • Shoot a treble down to the stitch next to the most recent teepee leg.
  • Put a single in the space you sassed.

Row 9-11: 3 rows of singles like beginning.

Rows 12-28: Repeat Rows 4-11 two more times, plus one more row 4, thus ending with teepees.

Border: Double crochet around.


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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Wanda September 18, 2009 at 7:20 pm

Ivory you are such a hoot. Now I have to make this dishcloth just so I can sass all those single crochet stitches! LMBO

cromantic January 19, 2010 at 7:44 pm

this is a fun pattern! Thanks for instructions (both plain and bold) that actually crochet as read!

Tipsyfox June 18, 2010 at 3:45 pm

I love your english-ish description! I am new to crochet and it is still very hard for me to read the patterns that are nothing but abreviations, so I REALLY appreciate this!

Lindsey February 2, 2011 at 5:16 pm

I have never laughed so hard reading a crochet pattern! I love it!

Kimberlily February 8, 2011 at 4:14 pm

OMG!!!! I have tried to figure this pattern out forever!!! As crazy as your English-ish version was…it totally helped me figure out where I was going wrong!! You totally rock and are now my new favorite person!

Pamela May 28, 2011 at 4:37 pm

I’ve tried and I’ve tried but this pattern does not make sense starting at the 4th row. Is there another way you can describe it? At some point I have to yarn back over? It’s just not clear for someone like me who needs step by stitch and I’ve tried.

Pretty pattern but I’m going to have to give it up.

Gretchen March 6, 2013 at 3:46 pm

I love your plain English instructions. I won’t be making your pattern due to my wrists detesting post stitches but I love how it looks and wish I could make it.

Susie Goodwill April 28, 2013 at 3:48 am

The cloth looks amazing…..unfortunately I couldn’t understand the pattern at all (either version!) Maybe it’s just me! I give up 🙁

Erin Surinak January 27, 2015 at 11:02 pm

Love it! Your pattern is wonderful and your sense of humor greatly appreciated! Thank you for the beautiful cloths. My sister is going to be so happy with them on her birthday. You Rock!

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