Ch 26

Row 1: Sc in second ch from hook and in each ch across

Row 2 & 3: Ch1, turn, sc in each sc across

To work FPtr: Yarn over hook twice, insert hook from front to back to front around the post of the stitch to be worked, yarn over hook, pull a loop through around the post, then, to complete as a treble stitch: (yarn over hook, draw yarn through two loops on hook) three times.

Row 4: Ch1 turn, sc in first 2 sc, work FPtr around first sc on third row below, skip four sc on third row below, work FPtr around next sc on third row below, * skip next 2 sc from last sc made, sc in next 4 sc, work FPtr around next sc on third row below, skip next 4 sc on third row below, work FPtr around next sc on third row below; Repeat twice from *; skip next 2 sc from last single crochet made, sc in last 3 sc.

Row 5-7: ch1 turn, sc in each sc across

Row 8: Ch 1, turn, work FPtr around third sc on the third row below, skip first sc, sc in next 4 sc, **work FPtr around next sc on third row below, skip next 4 sc on third row below, work FPtr around next sc on third row below, skip next 2 sc from last sc made, sc in next 4 sc; repeat from ** across to last 2 sc, work FPtr around next sc on third row below, skip next sc from last sc made, sc in last sc.

Row 9-11: ch1 turn, sc in each sc across

Rows 12-27: Repeat rows 4-11, two times.

Row 28: repeat row 4; do not fasten off

Border: Double crochet around and fasten off.

So, are you’re eyes bleeding? Mine did. So, here’s the Ivory Vernacular to clarify:

Chain 26.
Stab 2nd chain from hook.
Make 3 full rows of singles with ch1’s between rows

Row 4(Teepees): chain one and turn

• Single crochet in first two stitches and stick your finger on that second one. Verbally abuse it a bit so you won’t forget it. Say, “You’re a naughty-naughty stitch! If you had eyes, I’d poke em!”
  
• Work a treble crochet, but instead of stabbing the single crochet next door, go for the first one on that bottom row of singles. Go in to the right of him and come back out to the left of him. Finish your treble.
  
• Do another, but wrap around the 5th single crochet on that bottom row. Look, a teepee, four stitches between it’s feet.
• *Remember the stitch that you sassed BEFORE you started making a teepee? Skip two stitches away him (i.e. the two stitches behind Mr. Teepee Point) and make a single crochets in the next 4.
  
• NOW, you hate that last one of the four. “Look at you, standing there in front of your three friends, acting like you’re somebody! Your just the same as all the rest, ‘sept I hate you!”
• Make another teepee, wrapping stitches 6 and 11 on that bottom row, or the one next to the last teepee leg and five over from him. Whatever makes sense to you. Two legs, four stitches in between.
  
• Repeat twice from *. You should have four teepees and five stitches left over.
  
• Skip two from The Most Recently Sassed and put singles in the last three stitches.
  

Rows 5-7: 3 rows of singles like beginning.

Row 8(the V’s): chain one and turn

• Don’t put anything in that first stitch cause you HATE him, instead treble and wrap stitch 3, three rows down.
• Put singles in the four stitches up there next to the hated empty space.
  
• Wipe your brain clean and make 3 teepees. Two stitches will be left over. Glare at the second one. “You’re dead last, cause you deserve it!”
  
• Shoot a treble down to the stitch next to the most recent teepee leg.
  
• Put a single in the space you sassed.
  

Row 9-11: 3 rows of singles like beginning.

Rows 12-28: Repeat Rows 4-11 two more times, plus one more row 4, thus ending with teepees.

Border: Double crochet around.

Ivory