What happens when you find ten balls of fun fur at 80% off?

I know that there are lots of great bag patterns out there, however, none of them seem to take into account the fact that I can’t count to ninety-seven twice without skipping or adding a few stitches.

So, out of concern for my crossing eyes, I wrote myself a pattern that was easy for me to remember. I’d worry about how close or far off I was when I made the handles.

Even though I will give you the exact weirdo stitch count, it’s from math, not experience. Mine never works out this way. I always drop or add one and throw it off. Matters not.

When you get to the end of some rounds, it will NOT work out evenly….even if you do the pattern exactly right. (I’ll tell you which ones.) The glory of this bag is that it memoriz-able and you can do it ‘patternless’ without counting yourself to death and instead enjoy that DVD you’re watching.

Also, you don’t have to use fun fur with this pattern. Just back yourself down to an H needle and use one strand of yarn if you aren’t feeling like a flapper today.

I needle 600+ yards of yarn. Acrylic, cotton, what-have-you.
Inordinate amounts of fun fur baggies from the clearance bin of Hancocks
Pattern is worked holding two strands together.

Row 1: Put ten dc stitches in a magic circle.

***Or, if you like that whole chain three, join to a loop, dc ten times in it, yada yada–you can do that too. But, magic circles are just too cool.

Row 2: Ch3 and turn. Put one dc in same stitch space (sp) as join and two in each additional stitch space around. Join. –24 stitches

Row 3: Repeat Row 2 –48 stitches

Row 4: Ch 3 and turn. Dc in same sp as join, dc in next two sp, * 2 dc in next sp, dc in next two sp. Repeat from * all the way around and join. –64 stitches

***This is the TWO in my 2-4-6-8 thingy.
Looks like this: V l l V l l V l l V l l V l l V l l V l l V l l V l l V l l V l l V l l V l l V l l V l l V l l

Row 5: Ch 3 and turn. Dc in same sp as join, dc in next four sp, * 2 dc in next sp, dc in next four sp. Repeat from * all the way around and join. — 77 stitches.

***If you counted everything “right” so far, you will only get three dc after the last increase. No room for the fourth. Don’t stress.

This is the FOUR in my 2-4-6-8 thingy.
Looks like this: V l l l l V l l l l V l l l l V l l l l V l l l l V l l l l V l l l l

Row 6: Ch 3 and turn. Dc in same sp as join, dc in next six sp, * 2 dc in next sp, dc in next six sp. Repeat from * all the way around and join. — 88 stitches.

***I don’t need to illustrate again, right? You saw the SIX normals, didn’t you.

Row 7: Ch 3 and turn. Dc in same sp as join, dc in next eight sp, * 2 dc in next sp, dc in next eight sp. Repeat from * all the way around and join. –98 stitches.

***NOT work out evenly if you’re still on track. Missing last two normal stitches. Don’t stress.

Row 8: Ch 3 and turn. Dc in same sp as join, dc in next ten sp, * 2 dc in next sp, dc in next ten sp. Repeat from * all the way around and join. –107 stitches.

***WILL NOT work out evenly. Missing last normal stitch. Don’t stress.

Row 9: Repeat row 8. — 117 stitches.

***WILL NOT work out evenly. Missing last three normal stitches. Don’t stress.

So, you see we’ve done 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 10. Which is ‘Ivory counting the normals in between increases.’ Now we head to the “20,” as in “twenty rows.”

Rows 10-30: Ch 3 and turn. Dc in each sp and join.

Now, let’s snug it in a bit.….

Rows 31: Ch 3 and turn. Dc in next 7 sps between sts, 2-dc dec, *dc in next 8 sps between sts, 2-dc dec; repeat from * around; join -– 104 st

Row 32: Ch 3 and turn. Dc in next 6 sps between sts, 2-dc dec, *dc in next 7 sps between sts, 2-dc dec; repeat from * around; join -– 89 st

***Here is where you want to count. Count around and see how many stitches you actually have. If you were disgustingly perfect, you will have 89. Let’s all stick our tongue out at the perfect people 😛 For the rest of us…figure out how many st you need to have 90.

Row 33: Ch 3, turn, and dc around either increasing a few or 2-dc dec a few to get 90.

***See? Being perfect doesn’t really help. You’d still have to add a stitch. HA!

Handles

Row 34: Ch 3, 2-dc dec, dc in next 29 sps, 2-dc dec, dc in next sp– 33 sts.

Rows 35-43: Ch 3, turn, 2-dc dec, dc across to last 3 sps, 2-dc dec, dc in next sp – 9 sts.

Rows 43-63 (for a long cross body handle, otherwise, reduce by 5-10 rows): Ch 3, turn, dc in each sp across.

Fasten off.

Sk 10 sps from last st worked on Rnd 33. Join yarn with sl st in next sp, ch 3 and repeat Row 34-66. Do not fasten off. From wrong side, sc ends of handles together.

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So that’s the long version. Here’s the memorization…magic 10, doubles, doubles, 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 10, 20, then you’ll probably need to look at the pattern for the rest, unless you, like me, can remember 8, 7, 90, 29 to 9. HA! That makes TOTAL sense, right?

Anyhoo, Tl says that my pics don’t do the bag justice. So, since I’m making cheese this week, I thought I would put this monstrosity into perspective for ya. Here are two gallons of milk, with room for a third.

Oh, and here it is with no fun fur and an H needle. Still with two gallons of milk inside….

Ivory

P.S. Sorry for the excessive yellow-ness. Hubby has a really expensive camera that apparently adds fourteen gallons of yellow paint to everything. As opposed to my 40$ camera that doesn’t.