Ivory’s town has been meeting about this goat (and her soon to be bought even smaller friend) for almost a month and is suspending permission on all Ivory’s animals pending some bureaucracy. She was confident that this was proceeding in a lengthy, yet positive way until they photographed her yard over her back fence for reports and meetings to which she is not invited and have apparently ceased using the phone to contact her and resorted to brief emails ccd to people she doesn’t know.
Ivory feels bullied.
She would now like to move to the moon.
BUT, perhaps she’s missing something, so she’s appealing to her very intelligent readers (who are also not near as blinded by emotional attachment to tiny goat cuteness) for help in figuring out where she’s gone wrong:
Little House Quiz
§ 10.01 TITLE OF CODE.
All ordinances of a permanent and general nature, as revised, codified, rearranged, renumbered and consolidated into component codes, titles, chapters and sections, shall be known and designated as the “The Code of XXX,” for which designation “Code of Ordinances,” “Codified Ordinances” or “Code” may be substituted. Code title, chapter and section headings do not constitute any part of the law as contained in the code.
§ 94.03 REQUIREMENTS FOR KEEPING HORSES, COWS, HOGS AND THE LIKE.
(A) It shall be unlawful for any person to keep or maintain one or more horses, mules, cows or hogs in any residential section of the Town within 300 feet of any residence and without the consent of the owner or occupant of such residence and permission from the Board.
1. First, according to 10.01, does the highlighted phrase ‘And The Like’ in the title of 94.03 have any bearing on the law?
§ 94.08 INSPECTIONS.
For the purpose of making inspections to assure that owners are in compliance with owner requirements listed in § 94.03, the health officer, or his or her authorized representative, shall be authorized to enter, at any reasonable time, any premises.
2. Since I don’t have any of the animals listed in 94.03, why are they taking pictures over my fence? Does 94.08 even apply to me?
§ 94.04 FOWL RUNNING AT LARGE; REQUIREMENTS FOR KEEPING.
Chickens, turkeys, ducks, geese and guinea fowl running at large within the Town are declared to be nuisances. No person shall be allowed to keep any such fowl within the Town unless the same are securely fenced and confined to the premises of the owner. Coops and runways shall be kept clean and free from offensive odors.
§ 94.07 FOWL MAKING LOUD NOISES.
It shall be unlawful for any person to own, harbor, keep or possess any chickens, ducks, geese, fowl or other birds which by loud and frequent quacking, crowing or cackling or by any other noise disturb the peace or cause annoyance to any of the citizens of the corporation.
3. If I only have four quiet hens, wings clipped, securely fenced, that have generated no noise complaints in the whole year I’ve had them, why are they on the table?
4. What am I missing here?
5. Why is this happening?
6. What on earth am I gonna do?
7. Can I please have a hug?
I understand that the code may need to be rewritten, but it won’t apply to me. Widespread adoption of my ‘green’ living may destroy the ‘character of the town’. The smell of hay and bleats of baby goats and clucking chicks is something many suburbanites may find distasteful. I’m fine with that. But I just don’t understand why under the current code, they’re still deliberating whether or not MY animals are legal.
Somebody say something nice to me. Nicely disagreeing is fine, especially good if you can back it up legally so I can understand what I’m reading wrong.
But any comments that cruelly kick me when I’m down shall be summarily deleted by TL before I even see it, as I’m feeling very vulnerable today.