How to Clean an Attic

by Ivory Soap

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Apart from my Finished Room Over the Garage (FROG), my attic covers my entire house.  It’s a little house, but that’s still a lot of attic!  Yesterday it was stuffed to the gills with CRAPOLA.  Now, look at it! (Pictured above.)

Look again from the other direction!

Oooo, it’s so pretty!  And the box springs are only there because we ran out of energy.  We’ll get them out tomorrow.

How to Have an Empty Attic Like Ivory

1.  Have a super-mouse infestation from leaving an open bag of field corn in the garage.

2.  Conquer said super-mice.

3.  Find rat-turds when you go up to retrieve the Christmas Tree.

4.  Buy new tree and refuse to go in attic for six months.

5.  Make appointment to have a garage sale with neighbor because she’s an expert and the very idea of selling or bartering makes you want to drink…heavily.

6.  On a 102 degree day, unload entire contents of attic.  (The temperature is very important!)

7. Shop vac the rat-turds and admire the empty beauty of it all.  Relax till lunch.  Have a taco.

8. Sort the crap into five piles:  Stays Downstairs, Un-Recyclable Garbage, Recyclable Garbage, Garage Sale, Returning to Attic….remembering the temperature up there.

9.  Keep only those treasures that are worth a trip back into a bazillion-degree attic.

10.  Restock attic, garage sale everything else.

Disclaimer: This post may contain a link to an affiliate.

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Kathleen July 9, 2010 at 7:25 am

Hero Quest! I have the game… definitely a treasure

Carla July 9, 2010 at 7:25 am

Honestly, compared to ours your “before” picture looks pretty good to me. Still, if I had those lovely wood floors awaiting something special on them, I would have cleared, cleaned and fixed up, too! …wait. Are you going to make it into a pretty space or simply clean out for better storage?

Emily July 9, 2010 at 7:31 am

Wow! Finished floors in the attic?? All we have is blown-in insulation in drifts everywhere. I’m jealous. Good work getting them exposed again.

HeatherAnne July 9, 2010 at 8:42 am

My problem area is my basement. I’m not sure my yard is big enough to hold everything down there if I cleared it out all at once. I’m working on it slowly. I think I’ll skip the mouse infestation though. 😉

Jin6655321 July 9, 2010 at 8:45 am

My goodness, doing all that in 100+ heat? It’s that hot where I live and all I’ve been doing is eating ice cream, watching re-runs. “Vacuum? Are you crazy, it’s like a 100 degress out there!”, “Can’t cook, too hot to use the stove, here, have some ice cream.”

Kat July 9, 2010 at 8:46 am

Hopefully I can say good call on keeping the games without sounding redundant! I love me some good gaming!
Also, our first house was a tiny one bedroom with pull-down stairs to a space a lot like this one. I could just barely stand up straight int he center, but my husband couldn’t stand up at all. That was our bedroom for several years until we up-sized homes. I miss having the good excuse to have piles of books taller than the bed surrounding me in my sleep. Granted, it was just a futon on the floor, but the piles of books were the most beautiful room decor ever, to me.

Dolly July 9, 2010 at 9:43 am

#7 is particularly important, in any type of household cleanup job.

Heather July 9, 2010 at 6:57 pm

Great! Now that you have the system down, come do mine?

Mommaofmany July 9, 2010 at 8:02 pm

Heroquest and BattleMasters are definitely worth the return trip to the attic. However, our bazillion degrees might be hotter than yours. Our games have to live in the house; they actually melt in our attic. We learned the hard way with some less enjoyed toys.

JavaLady July 9, 2010 at 9:29 pm

WOW. You GO Girl !! On number 7, can I have a Klondike Choco Taco instead of a regular taco??

Handful July 12, 2010 at 11:46 am

Ivory, I just love your creative style of writing. 🙂

I can see how the temperature is very important in #9 but I am afraid I am with Jin. I would never have gotten started! Congratulations and thanks for the inspiration. My mess is at least on ground level in the garage. Two car garage – I can fit my Harley in and get to the beer cooler.

What ‘cha doing Saturday?

kittenfish September 9, 2010 at 11:13 am

Great, easy to follow instructions, THANKS… but I think you left out a repeat loop. Aren’t you gonna have to do it all over once that attic gets filled up with useless junk again?

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