When I first started gardening, I had no idea what to plant, where to plant it, or what grew well with what! So, for you beginners, we’re going to skip all that and just give you a recipe.

It’s all worked out for maximizing your companion plants and all that good stuff, so relax and enjoy the ride.

You could get fancy with the type of boards you use and get all wigged out about the precise mix of your soils, but let’s put that off till next year okay? This year, we just wanna grow some stuff.

You will need:
4 – 2×8 boards, 4ft long each
12 deck screws or nails
1 electric drill or hammer
(If you have no idea what I just said, walk into the lumbers section at Depot or Lowe’s and hand them the above list. They can make it all happen.)

1 small roll of weed blanket (any kind)
5 – 1 ft bags of potting soil
5 bags of different composts (This guy says that the more different nutrients the better your garden. I have found him to be correct.)
2 tomato stakes (any kind)
1 cherry tomato plant
1 regular tomato plant
2 pepper plants
1 bunch onion sets (at least 32)
1 pkg petite marigold seeds**
1 pkg chard
1 pkg basil seeds
1 pkg bush bean seeds
1 pkg radish seeds
**I have never in my life said, “Wow, this pack doesn’t have enough seeds in it!” So go ahead and get the $.20 pkgs.

Choose any variety of the above plants, but stick to the veggie I chose. I know chard is weird, but just go with the recipe. You can get fancy next year.

1. On your driveway, screw(nail) together your boards in a square. Don’t worry about how crooked the screws are or how maimed the heads of the nails end up. Just make the boards stick together in a square-type shape long enough for you to get it to the back yard.

2. In a sunny location, lay down your square. Cut a big enough piece of weed blanket or layer it to cover the bottom of your square. Figure out where North is. You’ll be planting all your big stuff on that side.

3. Mix all your dirt and compost on a tarp.

4. Fill box with dirt and WATER that bad boy till it’s damp all the way through.

5. Smooth the surface and using your finger (or what have you), divide the square in half both ways and do it again on each side to get 16 squares.

6. Poke holes in your garden with your finger about 1/2in deep so it looks like this:

*People in cool climates may be able to put up to four basil per square.

7. Open your marigold seeds. Pinch out four seeds. Put two in the first hole, and two in the second and cover. Put two seeds in each hole in your garden corresponding to the names on the grid below:

North Side


8. Put your plants in the dead center of the corresponding squares on the chart. Dig down to the bottom of your bed and set the tomato plant about an inch from the bottom. Bury it up to the gizzard. I also do this with my peppers, but you don’t have to.

9. Go eat dinner.

10. Water it tomorrow, and the next day, and as needed after that.

Ivory